Trust me, no one would confuse the speakers at the Republican convention in Cleveland with members of Mensa. To be fair, when someone like Donald Trump is your nominee, you take what you can get. But one thing you can say about each and every one of them is, they tow the Donald line. The pure nonsense that was spewed from beginning to end of that convention was just Republican propaganda on steroids.
I prefer to read transcripts (can’t suffer through watching them), but if you have the stomach or the patience to sit through them, most of the RNC speeches can be found at Washington’s Top News. You’ve heard the Right Wing’s BS so often, you could have given a speech for them: “lead from behind”, “Hillary lies”, “Obama’s a failure” “Ronald Reagan”… etc., etc. That’s not to say the speeches lacked humor, albeit unintentional. Here are some of the RNC’s “big thinkers” more memorable lines, along with some commentary:
Ben Carson: When we elect a president, we need to use that power of reasoning to look at their history, their character, what kind of people they really are.
I mean yeah, I once tried to stab somebody, and there are those lies I told about my West Point scholarship and a ton of other stuff, but trust me. I know character when I see it!
Newt Gingrich: If our enemies had their way, not a single woman in this room could define her future.
… not a single Jew or Christian in this room would be alive unless they agreed to submit.
… gays, lesbians and transgender citizens would be put to death as they are today in the Islamic State and Iran.
… every person on earth would be subject to conversion by the sword and to a cruel and violent system of laws.
There would be no individual liberty. There would be no equality.
There would be no freedom…
If you doubt that this threat is as real as I say…
Wait a minute… OOPS, I’m so sorry… I was reading you the party platform… where’d my speech go?
Sheriff David (Yosemite Sam) Clarke: Sadly for a growing number of communities the sense of safety that many of us once took for granted has been shattered. Americans don’t always feel safe no matter if they are working in a big city, living in a suburb, or rural areas all around this great country.
Nope, he’s not going where you hope he’s going with this.
I often tell residents of Milwaukee and cities and towns I visit that safety is a shared endeavor. It starts with the willing acceptance of people to play by society’s rules, a code if you will where we collectively agree upon that ensures stability, fairness and respect.
It is built on a foundation of trust in each other and in the people who administer and enforce society’s rules, which at is foundation is the rule of law.
Wait for it….
Blue Lives Matter in this country.
He belongs to the party of White Nationalists, and he’s convinced himself he’s really white; what did you think he’d say?
Donald Trump Jr.: As a recent college graduate, many of my accomplishments are still to come…
Yeah, Dad made me a VP right away; I’m talking about when he kicks and I inherit the rest of my “accomplishments”.
I know my father…
When people told him it was impossible for a boy from Queens to go to Manhattan and take on developers in the big city, rather than give up he changed the skyline of New York.
Of course, a position in Grandpa’s company and a million bucks probably helped.
Rudy Giuliani: The vast majority of Americans today do not feel safe. They fear for their children. They fear for themselves.
Wait, does he support the Black Lives Matter Movem…
They fear for our police officers who are being targeted with a target on their back.
… And we say thank you to every police officer and law enforcement agent who’s out tonight protecting us, black, white, Latino, of every race, of every color, every creed, every sexual orientation, when they come to save your life, they don’t ask if you are black or white. They just come to save you.
That might be because Rudy lives in this house in Water Mill, New York (at least when he’s not at his Palm Beach home). Water Mill’s Black population is 1%; I’m pretty sure their police force can guess what color you are when you call:
You deserve to know this about your next President. He’s been a great father, father-in-law, grandfather and friend to me, my wife Judith and my family for now almost 30 years.
Notice he didn’t say great husband; and after 30 years, I assume Trump’s friends with all of Rudy’s wives.
Chris Christie:“I am here tonight not only as the Governor of New Jersey, but also as Donald Trump’s friend for the last fourteen years.
Yeah, he’s humiliated me time and time again, and I’ve insulted him numerous times; but I wanna be Attorney General, please, please, please?
Kevin McCarthy: Republicans believe that families who work hard should get ahead.
Republicans believe in an America that isn’t divided by race — religion — or gender.
Republicans believe that America only works if we put your interests above the special interests.
He forgot the up is down and black is white part.
Con Man Willie Robertson explained how only 20% of us are “real Americans“, and the REAL real Americans have “hot wives“.
Z-grade Actor Scott Baio pleaded to “make America America again“, whatever the hell that means.
Tom Cotton talked about he and his father and grandfather being veterans, seemingly unaware he was endorsing a draft dodger.
According to Right Wing pundits, Laura Ingraham was the star of the show. The crowd applauded when she told them she was a single mother of 3, even though that means her kids will become drug dealers and crack whores. She insulted Republicans with enough backbone to not endorse Trump, calling them “Boys with hurt feelings and bruised egos”. The rest was just canned Republican fill, which they ate up. She ended her speech with a shout out to, I’m guessing here, David Duke?
Anyway, the Republican Convention is finally over. Next week the ADULTS roll into Philadelphia for the Democratic National Convention. There will be funny lines there as well, but they’ll be intentional.