Late Night Political Jokes for Dems

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“Happy birthday to President Obama, who turned 50 years old. Whether you like him or not, it’s a tremendous success story. This guy was born in a hut in Kenya and grew up to be president of the United States.” –David Letterman

“I was watching Fox News today. I lost a bet.” –David Letterman

“It’s President Obama’s birthday. I can’t believe it’s been 50 years since his mother forged his birth certificate.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“Fox News will host the next Republican primary debate on Aug. 11 in Iowa. Yeah, Fox News will ask some tough questions, like ‘How much better are you than Obama,’ ‘Why is Obama such a bad president,’ and ‘Man, can you believe we elected that guy?” –Jimmy Fallon

“There was a big 50th birthday party for President Obama in Chicago. It was kind of ironic at the party; the richest 1% of the guests took 42% of the cake. That was kind of interesting.” –Jay Leno

“Several Fox News hosts criticized ‘Spongebob Squarepants’ for pushing a global warming agenda. Then things got really ugly when they demanded to see ‘Dora the Explorer’s’ immigration papers.” –Conan O’Brien

“I see Congress more as a bunch of monkeys. High-fiving each other in celebration, having forgotten that mere moments ago they were throwing their own feces.” –Daily Show correspondent Jason Jones

“Just 10 days until the big Iowa Republican presidential straw poll. How many think Mitt Romney will win the straw poll? How many think Michele Bachmann will win? How many would rather vote for the straw?” –Jay Leno

“It’s interesting to see the Tea Party go from a small group of people that everyone thinks is crazy to a large group of people that everyone thinks is crazy.” –Jimmy Kimmel

“According to a new poll, voters described the way Congress behaved during the debt debate as ‘disgusting, stupid, and ridiculous.’ They would have also accepted ‘gutless and cowardly.'” –David Letterman

‎”Go ahead, Tea Party Congress people, put on your tri-corner hats, play your fifes, and dance the minuet. Tea party like it’s 1799.” –Jon Stewart

Reprinted with permission from DIRECT eZine, the newsletter of the San Diego County Democratic Party

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