Newt Gingrich heralded the discovery of billions of super earths in the Milky Way Galaxy during a trip to the Houston Nasa Visitor Center, back parking lot picnic table under an old oak tree. Gingrich was accompanied by campaign mascot Ellis the Elephant wearing a jet pack, and spousal mascot Calista the III. Many audience members mistakenly believed Calista was wearing a pressurized helmet, before realizing that was just her hair.
Standing atop the picnic table Gingrich addressed about one dozen supporters and press members. Gingrich confidently promised to plant an American flag on the closest “super earth” by the end of his second term. He then declared that America would establish a manned (and presumably womanned -wink wink nudge nudge-) colony by the end of his third term.
When asked how he could serve three presidential terms Gingrich advised he was including a presumptive term as president of the American moon colony. Gingrich expressed confidence that Joe the Vice President would fully implement the Gingrich space initiative following his electoral landslide (and subsequent name change to Joe the President) in 2020.
Gingrich seemed to welcome the possibility of intelligent life on other planets:
By definition, those aliens are secular atheist’s who do not love America, without question. It will be our fundamental duty to establish Christianity as the founding principle for a thriving alien civilization, just like the founding fathers intended.
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