The Final Presidential Debate Via the Conservative Alternate Universe

In the first Presidential debate, President Obama struggled, and Liberals were extremely disappointed with his performance. The Conservative reaction to that was complete astonishment that a party could actually admit their candidate had been less than perfect; that type of objectivity is non-existent in Conservative-Land.

Liberals would then see President Obama mop up the floor with Mitt Romney in the next two debates. Conservative talking heads literally smoked from internal friction caused by the spin required to declare their candidate the winner. One is never wrong in Conservative-Land; a gaffe becomes insightful, a lie becomes the truth, and their candidate’s ineptitude is always the other guys fault.

Consider these post-debate polls:

CNN Instant Scientific Poll of registered voters who watched the debate:

  • Obama: 48%
  • Romney: 40%
  • Undecided: 12%

CBS Snap Poll of debate watchers:

  • Obama: 53%
  • Romney: 23%
  • Tie: 24%

Online poll by Google Consumer Surveys among registered voters:

  • Obama: 48%
  • Romney: 31%

And according to the New York Times’ Five Thirty Eight:

Public Policy Polling survey of Colorado voters who watched the debate:

  • Obama: 48%
  • Romney: 44%

Independent voters:

  • Obama: 58%
  • Romney: 36%

SurveyUSA Poll of California voters who watched the debate:

  • Obama: 56%
  • Romney: 32%

You get the picture. Now consider this post debate conservative headline from The Daily Caller: Post-debate quick polls show near-draw for Romney, Obama (Of course, this is Tucker Carlson’s site, and he’s still in a corner pouting because his “bombshell Obama video” has bombed along with his career.) The headline however, was re-used all over conservative sites.

Most of the gasket-blowing occurred on Twitter, with some Conservatives reacting like 3rd Graders, such as Michelle Malkin (my apologies to the 3rd grade):

“Obama is Mr. Snarky Commander McSnark now, lecturing Romney on how we don’t have bayonets anymore.”

Some who over-believe in the power of positive thinking like Erick Erickson:

“Obama probably thinks he smoked Mitt in last 2 debates and has nothing to show for it. Gotta love it”

Then there’s Laura Ingraham, who can only dream:

I think it’s a wash…don’t think many care abt this.

And of course, John If-I-Say-it-and-Click-My-Heels-3-Times Hawkins:

The 1st 45 min of the debate was a tedious wash. Mitt dominated the 2nd half. Stronger, more presidential, more on point. Mitt won.

Conservatives will remain secure in their little alternate universe that a) Romney won the debate, b) Romney “looked Presidential”, and c) their memories will automatically erase all Romney gaffes, flip-flops, and bald-faced lies. The cartoon by artist Daryl Cagle on Bob Cesca’s site sums their alternate world up perfectly:

Personally, I’m just glad we’re done with debates. Oh, and one more thing…

Obama kicked Romney’s ass!

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