What Ever Could Be Causing Texas’ Historic Drought?

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I, RICK PERRY, Governor of the State of Texas, issued an Emergency Disaster Proclamation on July 5, 2011, certifying that exceptional drought conditions posed a threat of imminent disaster in specified counties in Texas.

WHEREAS, record high temperatures, preceded by significantly low rainfall, have resulted in declining reservoir and aquifer levels, threatening water supplies and delivery systems in many parts of the state; and

WHEREAS, prolonged dry conditions continue to increase the threat of wildfire across many portions of the state; and

WHEREAS, these drought conditions have reached historic levels and continue to pose an imminent threat to public health, property and the economy;

The above text was issued by Texas Governor Rick Perry extending the Emergency Disaster proclamation that he originally declared on July 5, 2011. The entire declaration lists a plethora of Texas counties being affected by this record drought and directing that all necessary measures be taken to alleviate the disaster.

I have thought of a few very pertinent addendum’s that should be added to the Governors proclamation.

WHEREAS, the Governor of the State of Texas believes to be fraudulent the scientific explanation as to why his state is being scorched by extreme heat and afflicted by a dramatic decrease in rainfall; and 

WHEREAS, Almighty God having condemned the State of Texas to be afflicted by record high temperatures and drought, despite the Governors supplications and official declarations appealing to our Heavenly Father through prayer for assistance, which prayer having proved futile, presumably due to God approving of the current affliction upon the State of Texas; and

WHEREAS, the Governor of the State of Texas advertises the fact that Texas has minimal regulation to protect the environment while attempting to lure jobs from other states to Texas; and

WHEREAS, The people of the State of Texas, choosing to predominantly elect conservative politicians to office who are minimally, if at all, concerned about environmental affairs;

Therefore, in accordance with the authority invested in us by the use of common sense, the people of the United States of America demand that the leaders and the people of the State of Texas truly take the necessary measures needed to address the cause of their current predicament.  That they acknowlege the scientific causes of the calamity.  That they take care to elect representatives who will address those scientific causes.  That they pass the needed measures to regulate the industrial and other causes of their affliction.  And that they do not presume to rely upon supplications to the Almighty Creator in order to alleviate a situation for which they are mainly responsible. 

If the people of the State of Texas and their elected representatives fail to address the issues causing their discomfiture, they are welcome to figuratively  sleep in the bed they have made for themselves. 

In the meantime maybe there are farmers in Texas who would like to relocate to the verdant fields of the amply hydrated and seasonably temperatured, liberally inclined state of Oregon.

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  • JamesMMartin

    Texas is the LAST state that would wake up to the reality of climate change, given that the state is owned, lock stock and oil barrel by Big Petroleum. Why do you think so many federal lawsuits involving BP were filed in Texas courts? The judges bend over backwards (and forwards) to rule for oil companies. Why do you think Enron chose Houston as the situs of its corporate offices from which to run the biggest scam in corporate history. Texas will be the last state to legalize gay marriage, the last state to legalize marijuana, the last state to protect women’s right of choice, and every other issue placing voters on one side of history or the other. No, Texas is hopelessly, aggressively pro-hydrocarbonaceous pollution.