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Saying he is “sympathetic to late night comedians’ struggle to find jokes to make about me,” Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill) today issued a list of official campaign-approved Barack Obama jokes.

The five jokes, which Sen. Obama said he is making available to all comedians free of charge, are as follows:

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, “You know, we don’t get many kangaroos here.” Barack Obama replies, “At these prices, I’m not surprised. That’s why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil.”

A traveling salesman knocks on the door of a farmhouse, and much to his surprise, Barack Obama answers the door. The salesman says, “I was expecting the farmer’s daughter.” Barack Obama replies, “She’s not here. The farm was foreclosed on because of subprime loans that are making a mockery of the American Dream.”

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the long face?” Barack Obama replies, “His jockey just lost his health insurance, which should be the right of all Americans.”

Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
Barack Obama: The New Yorker magazine, which should be embarrassed after publishing such a tasteless and offensive cover, which I reject and denounce.

A Christian, a Jew and Barack Obama are in a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. Barack Obama says, “This joke isn’t going to work because there’s no Muslim in this boat.”

As Crooks and Liars pointed out earlier this week, while Obama – a while back – got pummeled for slipping and referencing the “president of Canada,” McCain’s multiple references to policy concerning Czechoslovakia, a country that has not existed for 15 years, have largely gone unnoticed.

This mindset is part of the pass McCain is enjoying in the media: despite repeated and multiple mistakes and contradictions and flip-flops, everyone’s just sitting back with a shit grin on their face saying “s’all good.”

To be clear: John McCain does not qualify for POTUS because he is a veteran, is not experienced at foreign policy because he got off his ass in DC once in a while and visited foreign countries, and does not garner my respect simply because he is my elder; he’s pretty much everyone’s elder, and respect must be earned.

Old != Wise

The American leader, who has been condemned throughout his presidency for failing to tackle climate change, ended a private meeting with the words: “Goodbye from the world’s biggest polluter.”

He then punched the air while grinning widely, as the rest of those present including Gordon Brown and Nicolas Sarkozy looked on in shock.

Everyone remember Bush’s impromptu shoulder massage of German Chancellor Angela Merkel – at the G8?

The most powerful American is the Ugly American manifest.

On both his radio and television shows, Bill O’Reilly again cited Sen. Barack Obama’s ranking by the National Journal as the “most liberal senator” for 2007, without noting the rankings’ subjectivity. O’Reilly did not note that the rankings were based not on every vote cast by senators in 2007, but rather on “99 key Senate votes, selected by NJ reporters and editors, to place every senator on a liberal-to-conservative scale.”

Of course, O’Reilly also doesn’t mention that McCain didn’t earn a rating in this absurd, subjective exercise because he didn’t vote enough to be rated.

Every once in a while, I emerge from this haze of media anesthesia, this consistent lack of reporting all the facts – this thing that keeps Media Matters in business – and fly, burning-fisted into outrage: how can they do this? Why is no one doing anything about it? And just as my tornado inferno gets twisting, I collapse on myself, realizing that there are thousands of screaming voices – in the blogosphere. And because of how we humans are, my voice and thousands of others are shouting only to those who want to listen, and -by and large – are the other screaming voices.

People who need to hear that Barack Obama is not a Muslim don’t have a computer and won’t turn off Fox News.

And ignorance – not Fox and not talk radio – is our kryptonite: we have no defense and few effective ways to counter it.

Your thoughts?

Sign Kucinich’s petition to push these articles. Maybe, just maybe, the congress we elected two years ago could get something important – and meaningful – done before the Criminal leaves office.

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